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You Got Back Together. Now What?
After getting back together is where most advice stops. What the first months actually feel like, what to change, and why the court case does not close itself.
11 min readAm I Ruining My Kids by Getting Divorced?
Am I ruining my kids by getting divorced? What the research bodies say, why conflict matters more than the split, and what is genuinely in your control.
10 min readBack to School After a Divorce: Two Homes, One School Year
Back to school after a divorce: what federal rules say about both parents' access to school records, what to tell the school, and homework in two homes.
11 min readBeneficiary After a Divorce: The Form That Still Says Their Name
Beneficiary after a divorce: why a decree does not change who a plan pays, which accounts follow which rule, and what remarrying does to a form you fixed.
12 min readBreaking Up When You Live Together: What You Have Instead of a Divorce
Breaking up when you live together: whether you might already be married, who the house belongs to, and the extra step unmarried parents have to take first.
11 min readBuying a House After a Divorce: What a Lender Counts and What It Ignores
Buying a house after a divorce: whether a decree removes a debt from your ratios, when support counts against you, and the questions to ask a lender first.
12 min readChanging Your Name Back After a Divorce, and Whether To
Changing your name back after a divorce: what it actually costs, why the order matters, everyone who needs telling, and why keeping the name is fine too.
11 min readWhen Your Child Does Not Want to Come to Your House
Your child does not want to come to your house. The five different reasons behind it, what to do at the exchange, and the word this piece will not use.
11 min readWhen Your Ex Moves to Another State
Child support across state lines: which state can enforce the order, which can change it, how registration works, and why old arrears get a longer clock.
12 min readChanging a Child Support Amount
Child support modification: why relief only reaches back to the date notice was given, the two review doors, and what a state must tell you every three years.
12 min readThe Digital Untangling: Accounts, Passwords, and Devices After a Breakup
Shared accounts after a breakup, in the right order: what still shows your location, what still spends your money, and what to keep rather than delete.
10 min readDivorce After 50: Retirement, Social Security, and the Years You Have Left
Divorce after 50: what is time sensitive, how retirement accounts actually split, and the Social Security rule for divorced spouses that most people miss.
12 min readDivorce After a Short Marriage: What Is Different When It Was Not Long
Divorce after a short marriage: why a brief marriage is not grounds for annulment, the simpler process some qualify for, and what advice does not apply.
11 min readDivorce Statistics, and Why the Famous One Is Wrong
Divorce statistics from the Census Bureau: how many people have ever divorced, how long marriages last, and why the half-of-all-marriages figure misleads.
11 min readDivorce Terminology: The Words Nobody Stopped to Explain
Divorce terminology in plain English: what each term means, where you first run into it, and which ones depend on your state rather than on federal law.
14 min readDivorce With a Toddler: What Changes When They Are Too Young to Ask
Divorce with a toddler: what researchers still disagree about on overnights, why regression is not a verdict, and how to explain it to a three-year-old.
11 min readDivorce With Teenagers: When They Have Opinions and You Do Not Have All the Answers
Divorce with teenagers: what a 14 year old's say actually means legally, the FAFSA rule that changed, and why the schedule becomes a negotiation at this age.
12 min readDownsizing After a Divorce: What to Do With Everything Left Over
Downsizing after a divorce: what you can and cannot do with an ex's things, whether a storage unit is worth it, and how to split furniture calmly.
11 min readEmergency Contact After a Divorce: Who You Can Name, and a Friend Counts
Yes, a friend can be your emergency contact after a divorce. What they are asked to do, who to name when nobody is obvious, and what if the line is blank.
11 min readWhen Your Ex Stops Paying Child Support
Ex not paying child support: the federal deadlines that run on the agency rather than on you, what actually happens next, and the first question to ask.
12 min readThe First 90 Days After a Divorce or Breakup: What to Handle, and When
What to handle in the first 90 days after a divorce or breakup: the few things that are urgent, the paperwork with real deadlines, and what can safely wait.
10 min readThe First Holidays Alone After a Divorce or Breakup
Getting through the first holidays alone after a divorce or breakup: why the run-up is worse than the day, what to keep, and what to say when they ask.
10 min readThe First Month as a Single Parent: Every System That Used to Take Two
The first month as a single parent is a systems problem before it is an emotional one. Mornings, meals, sick days, bedtime: the minimum version of each.
13 min readFriendships After a Divorce: Who Stays, Who Goes, and How to Rebuild
Friendships after a divorce: why people disappear, what to say to mutual friends, and how adults actually make new ones. Practical, without the pep talk.
10 min readGrief After a Divorce: Real Grief, Without the Rituals
Grief after a divorce is grief, and it arrives without a funeral, leave from work, or casseroles. What it looks like, why stage models mislead, and what helps.
10 min readHead of Household After Divorce: The Five Tests, and the One That Starts Before the Decree
Head of household after divorce is a checklist, not a status: five tests, all required, and three of them can be met while you are still legally married.
12 min readHealth Insurance After a Divorce Over 50: The Years Before Medicare
Health insurance after a divorce over 50: how long COBRA really lasts, the 60-day notice nobody reminds you about, and the years before Medicare.
12 min readThe Holiday Custody Schedule: Write It Down Before December
A holiday custody schedule that survives December: the three standard ways to split Christmas, what to put in writing, travel, passports, and enforcement.
12 min readHow to Tell Your Children About a Divorce or Separation
How to tell your children about a divorce: when to do it, what has to be said, what to leave out, and what they will ask afterwards. Sourced, not scripted.
11 min readIn-Laws After a Divorce: The Family You Do Not Get to Keep
In-laws after a divorce: why this loss goes unnamed, what changes when there are children, and who actually decides whether they see your kids.
11 min readIs Alimony Taxable? What the Date on Your Agreement Decides
Is alimony taxable? It depends on when your agreement was signed. The 2019 rule, the modification trap, and the retirement problem nobody mentions.
15 min readJoint Debt After a Divorce: Whose Name Is Still On It
Joint debt after a divorce: why a decree does not bind a lender, the difference between a joint holder and an authorized user, and how to get your name off.
12 min readLiving Alone After a Breakup: The First Month in a House Set for Two
Living alone after a breakup or divorce: how to make a house stop reminding you hourly, who still has access to it, what it costs, and what to leave alone.
10 min readMedical Decisions After a Divorce: Records, Appointments, and Who Signs
Medical decisions after a divorce: who decides, what HIPAA actually says about a parent's access to a child's records, and who signs the school health forms.
12 min readHow to Communicate With Your Ex Without Restarting the Fight
How to communicate with your ex about logistics, money, or the children without reopening the argument: three rules, worked examples, and when not to reply.
9 min readMilitary Divorce and Retirement Pay: Three Numbers, Three Rules
Military divorce retirement pay: why 50 percent is a cap not a share, what the 10/10 rule actually limits, and the 20/20/20 condition nobody mentions.
12 min readMoney After a Divorce: Rebuilding on One Income
Money after a divorce, in order: your own credit file, the debts still tied to your ex, retirement accounts, and the ten-year rule almost nobody mentions.
11 min readMoving Out of State With a Child: Permission, and Which Court Keeps Control
Moving out of state with a child is two questions: whether you can go, which your state decides, and which court keeps power over custody afterward.
13 min readA Year After the Divorce: What Changes, and What to Check
A year after a divorce: what is usually different by now, what is often still the same, and the loose ends worth auditing that nobody reminds you about.
10 min readHow to Know When You Are Ready to Date Again
Ready to date again after a divorce? Three signals worth checking, what readiness is not, when to involve your children, and why not wanting to is fine too.
10 min readRegret After a Divorce: Which Kind Is It?
Regret after a divorce comes in at least five kinds, and only one is about the decision itself. Where that famous statistic came from, and what to do next.
11 min readWhat Happens If You Remarry After a Divorce
What happens if you remarry after a divorce: which benefits end, the age lines that decide whether some of them survive, and what to check before the date.
11 min readWhen Your Ex Is Self-Employed and the Income Looks Wrong
Self-employed ex and child support: why a tax return is not the support number, what imputed income actually requires, and what evidence moves it.
12 min readSetting Up a Place of Your Own: The First Two Weeks
Setting up a place of your own after a separation: what to buy first, what can wait, what to change your address with, and getting ready for the kids.
10 min readThe Shame Nobody Mentions: Feeling Like a Failure After a Divorce
Shame after a divorce is the part nobody discusses, because shame is what stops people discussing it. Why it happens, what to say, and when it needs help.
10 min readSharing a Dog After a Breakup: What Actually Works
Sharing a dog after a breakup: what proves you own a pet, what makes an arrangement survive, what to put in writing, and when sharing is the wrong answer.
11 min readShould You Move Out? What to Settle Before Anyone Leaves
Should you move out during a separation? Why it is a legal question before a comfort one, what to ask a lawyer first, and what to take if you do go.
10 min readThinking About Trying Again: How to Decide Honestly
Should you get back together after a separation? The question that is actually decidable, what a serious attempt involves, and when the answer is simply no.
11 min readSleep and Your Body After a Breakup: What Changes, and What Helps
Sleep after a breakup and the 4am waking: what changes, why sleep returns before the sadness lifts, what actually helps, and when to see a doctor.
9 min readStock Options in Divorce: What Can Be Divided, What Cannot Be Transferred, and Who Pays the Tax
Stock options in divorce: which ones cannot legally be transferred, who pays the tax when they are exercised, and the question the IRS ruling leaves open.
13 min readSummer Camp After a Divorce: Who Decides, Who Pays, Who Claims It
Summer camp after a divorce: who gets to enroll a child, how the cost is split, and the federal rule that decides which parent can claim the care credit.
12 min readTrial Separation Rules: What to Agree Before You Live Apart
A trial separation without rules ruins both outcomes at once. What to agree in writing, how long to run it, and the difference from a legal separation.
13 min readWe Tried Again and It Did Not Work
We tried again and it did not work: the second ending, why the attempt was not wasted, what the attempt told you, and how to end it cleanly.
11 min readWhat to Do With Wedding Photos After a Divorce
Wedding photos after a divorce: whose history they are, what comes off the wall, how to stop them surfacing on your phone, and who keeps a shared library.
10 min readWeekends Without Your Kids After a Divorce: The First One and the Ninth
Weekends without your kids after a divorce: why the ninth is harder than the first, the two hours that are actually difficult, and what to do with the quiet.
11 min readWhat Is a QDRO, and What Has to Be In It
What is a QDRO, what federal law says has to be in one, the 18-month clock that sends the money back to your ex, and which accounts do not use one at all.
12 min readWhat to Ask a Divorce Lawyer, and What to Bring
What to ask a divorce lawyer at a first meeting, what documents to bring, how fees actually work, and what to do if you cannot afford representation.
10 min readWhat to Ask For in a Divorce, and What It Actually Costs
What to ask for in a divorce: what is actually negotiable, why an equal split is not an equal outcome, and the items people forget until it is too late.
12 min readWhat to Do With the House: Sell, Stay, or Buy Them Out
What to do with the house in a divorce: why a decree does not remove you from the mortgage, whether you can keep it, how buyouts work, and the tax trap.
11 min readWhen Your Ex Has a New Partner
Your ex has a new partner. Why it hits harder than expected, what to do when your children meet them, and the rules that keep you out of the comparison trap.
10 min readWho Claims the Child on Taxes After Divorce: What Moves and What Stays
Who claims child on taxes after divorce: the nights rule, the one form that moves the claim, and the three benefits it never moves, including head of household.
13 min read