Untangling
The joined-up parts of a shared life, taken apart in a sensible order: accounts, passwords, devices, messages to an ex, the school year across two homes, and the questions worth taking to a lawyer before you agree to anything.
How to Communicate With Your Ex Without Restarting the Fight
How to communicate with your ex about logistics, money, or the children without reopening the argument: three rules, worked examples, and when not to reply.
9 min readThe Digital Untangling: Accounts, Passwords, and Devices After a Breakup
Shared accounts after a breakup, in the right order: what still shows your location, what still spends your money, and what to keep rather than delete.
10 min readWhat to Ask a Divorce Lawyer, and What to Bring
What to ask a divorce lawyer at a first meeting, what documents to bring, how fees actually work, and what to do if you cannot afford representation.
10 min readWhat to Ask For in a Divorce, and What It Actually Costs
What to ask for in a divorce: what is actually negotiable, why an equal split is not an equal outcome, and the items people forget until it is too late.
12 min readDivorce Terminology: The Words Nobody Stopped to Explain
Divorce terminology in plain English: what each term means, where you first run into it, and which ones depend on your state rather than on federal law.
14 min readChanging Your Name Back After a Divorce, and Whether To
Changing your name back after a divorce: what it actually costs, why the order matters, everyone who needs telling, and why keeping the name is fine too.
11 min readWhat to Do With the House: Sell, Stay, or Buy Them Out
What to do with the house in a divorce: why a decree does not remove you from the mortgage, whether you can keep it, how buyouts work, and the tax trap.
11 min readBack to School After a Divorce: Two Homes, One School Year
Back to school after a divorce: what federal rules say about both parents' access to school records, what to tell the school, and homework in two homes.
11 min readThe Holiday Custody Schedule: Write It Down Before December
A holiday custody schedule that survives December: the three standard ways to split Christmas, what to put in writing, travel, passports, and enforcement.
12 min readMedical Decisions After a Divorce: Records, Appointments, and Who Signs
Medical decisions after a divorce: who decides, what HIPAA actually says about a parent's access to a child's records, and who signs the school health forms.
12 min readSummer Camp After a Divorce: Who Decides, Who Pays, Who Claims It
Summer camp after a divorce: who gets to enroll a child, how the cost is split, and the federal rule that decides which parent can claim the care credit.
12 min readWhat Is a QDRO, and What Has to Be In It
What is a QDRO, what federal law says has to be in one, the 18-month clock that sends the money back to your ex, and which accounts do not use one at all.
12 min readSharing a Dog After a Breakup: What Actually Works
Sharing a dog after a breakup: what proves you own a pet, what makes an arrangement survive, what to put in writing, and when sharing is the wrong answer.
11 min readJoint Debt After a Divorce: Whose Name Is Still On It
Joint debt after a divorce: why a decree does not bind a lender, the difference between a joint holder and an authorized user, and how to get your name off.
12 min readWhen Your Ex Stops Paying Child Support
Ex not paying child support: the federal deadlines that run on the agency rather than on you, what actually happens next, and the first question to ask.
12 min readWhen Your Ex Is Self-Employed and the Income Looks Wrong
Self-employed ex and child support: why a tax return is not the support number, what imputed income actually requires, and what evidence moves it.
12 min readChanging a Child Support Amount
Child support modification: why relief only reaches back to the date notice was given, the two review doors, and what a state must tell you every three years.
12 min readWhen Your Ex Moves to Another State
Child support across state lines: which state can enforce the order, which can change it, how registration works, and why old arrears get a longer clock.
12 min readMilitary Divorce and Retirement Pay: Three Numbers, Three Rules
Military divorce retirement pay: why 50 percent is a cap not a share, what the 10/10 rule actually limits, and the 20/20/20 condition nobody mentions.
12 min readStock Options in Divorce: What Can Be Divided, What Cannot Be Transferred, and Who Pays the Tax
Stock options in divorce: which ones cannot legally be transferred, who pays the tax when they are exercised, and the question the IRS ruling leaves open.
13 min readMoving Out of State With a Child: Permission, and Which Court Keeps Control
Moving out of state with a child is two questions: whether you can go, which your state decides, and which court keeps power over custody afterward.
13 min readWho Claims the Child on Taxes After Divorce: What Moves and What Stays
Who claims child on taxes after divorce: the nights rule, the one form that moves the claim, and the three benefits it never moves, including head of household.
13 min readHead of Household After Divorce: The Five Tests, and the One That Starts Before the Decree
Head of household after divorce is a checklist, not a status: five tests, all required, and three of them can be met while you are still legally married.
12 min read
Something to use at this stage
Checklist and Planner
Every practical task after a separation, grouped by stage and broken into steps, with room for the things only you would write down.
It counts paperwork rather than progress, and nothing is timed. Kept on your device, sent nowhere.